The theory of the Texpat: Someone who once lived in Texas, and has left our amber-waves-of-grain motherland to reside as an immigrant in some land that’s maybe not as great, but no one’s ever sure. Always on the look-out for good tacos and salsa.

La Venganza de La Malinche– 1€ Coronitas (little bottles of Corona) on Wednesday, along with 1€ mini tacos. This place is styled to look like you’ve ventured into a Mayan cave, and is by far the coolest restaurant I went inside of in my whole stay in Spain. The staff is really helpful and friendly, and the bar tender is easy to cut up with. La Venganza was easy to be a regular at.
I’d recommend the tacos al pastor if you go on the euro Wednesday. Another thing you might pick up on Miercoles is a Michilada. The michilada is a beer that has had hot sauce and a few other spices added to it, and is revered at Mexican restaurants Texas-wide. It is a personal favourite drink, and we went here for Michilada Miercoles, thus endearing ourselves to the bartender (my friends more so than me, for they went more regularly). Also: decent margaritas.
Apparently, there are a few locations. We always went to the one off of Calle de la Montera.

Mercado de San Fermin– this marketplace (similar, but smaller than, Mercado de San Miguel) has two stalls perfect for the homesick Texan.
There is a stand downstairs that has tacos and margaritas, though the tacos aren’t especially spicy. They do have a few salsas, but they, too, are not quite what I’m used to back home. This stall (whose name I know not) has a great rose flavoured margarita, very gentle and interesting in flavour.
Upstairs, there is a place in the far back right corner (from where you enter) that serves skewers of meat and veggies– what might be called a kebab at a US cookout, but isn’t a kebab in Madrid.
There is one flavour in particular called “hijoputa.” Excuse the skewer’s, ahem, strong name, for the name only fits its strong spicy flavour. It’s one of the only legitimately hot items Trinh and I had in Spain. Actually, it was so spicy I only tried hers, I never bothered buying one of mine own. It has pieces of jalapeño in between beef chunks (beef is also uncommon in Spain, as it is hard to come by in Europe in general), slathered in a hot sauce.

Mexican place near Tribunal (maybe Anton Martin?)– Another place none of my group can remember the name of, forgive us. I also couldn’t find it hunting on Yelp! Ugh.
Me and a handful of friends went here for Trinh’s birthday. We grew up together in the Top of Texas, and her mom is Mexican, so she missed Mexican food just as much (if not more so) than I did.
The inside is painted BRIGHT and there is fun Mexican artwork hung on the walls, including a portrait of Frieda Kahlo. They have incredible drinks including a promising Piña Colada. Really their drink menu is ace. I didn’t eat, but Trinh (my fellow Texan) said the flavours were good, just not spicy enough.

For the Texan really just missing spicy: Atena,a kebab place not too far from the Tribunal metro stop. Their spicy kebab is legitimately spicy!!! And delicious, and the tiny staff is friendly, the food is cheap, and the other regulars here were always nice to us. It was amazing, and we were suuuuuper regular. You can also get jalapeño slices on your kebab, BONUS POINTS!!! Also, they deliver, so that’s freaking AMAzing, wow wow wow.

Calle de San Vicente Ferrer, 13
28004 Madrid
Spain

Somewhere (I don’t know because I never went there) there is a burger joint owned by Texans. From what I’ve heard, is decent. ALSO DON’T KNOW IT’S NAME, whoops. But not-fastfood-burgers made by a Texan? That sounds nice. If I had stayed longer, I would have made SURE we went there. Good luck hunting it down.